validation

I am not good with change... at all.  At every major moment in my life, I have had a nervous breakdown.  Before college, I was talked down by my best friend, Addie.  Before my third year in college, I was talked down by my husband, Jeremy.  After my marriage, I was talked down by my brother-in-law, Michael.  Before I had Anna, Jeremy talked me down once more.  After my career change, my friend Amy was the one who helped.  Now so much has changed (or is getting ready to)... my father died and I have almost finished a master's degree that is supposed to change my carreer once again.  I am lost.  Most definitely lost.  I have not been able to have my meltdown about my father due to my said master's degree.  Questions that plague my mind:  Am I a good teacher?  Can I continue to be a teacher and still be a principal later?  Would I be a good principal?  Am I better teacher than I would be a principal?  The worst part about these thoughts is that they invade the parts of my life not changing.  Questions like: Am I a good mother?  am I doing right by my children?  Is my marriage missing something?  *sigh*  These thoughts have inspired the poem below, one of those dumb poems we had to write in elementary school, middle school, and high school.  It seems appropriate for the thoughts I have this evening. 
Truly afraid
Hope without faith
Overwhelmed with choices
Ugly truth staring me down
Growing insecurities
Hurting relationships
Trying to move on
Successfully.