It's who I am
Okay, so last week I graded 1000 (or so) AP Literature Essays about a man and a woman who have typically "complex" relationship. Each individual in the expert was to be discussed, then their relationship. (FYI: I am truly tired of the term complex) As I read the essays written by 17-18 year olds from across the nation, I realized a couple of things; these things I will share with you all now.
1. My marriage is healthier than the average marriage. While my hubby and I have the occasional argument, we agree on the most important things in life. Our goals for the marriage align, as do our subtle needs and enjoyments. We agree that marriage is not a sentence to spend every minute of every day of every year together. We each have our separate hobbies (his is killing things and mine is reading) and we have something we enjoy doing together (eating good food). We have some other similarities that are better left undisclosed.
2. There is still hope for the future. The amount of truly idealistic views on marriage I read were encouraging. I saw the following lines SEVERAL times of the 7 days of reading: A good marriage takes communication; A good marriage needs honesty and trust; A good marriage can not exist in the same place as hatred. The children of America who are growing up in a time of multiple marriages and remarriages still have hope. This should give the adults hope as well.
3. This is the most personal of my realizations; it is a realization of who I am. I have finally become comfortable spending time alone but only because meeting new people is utterly terrifying to me. I am so scared of rejection that I would rather not put myself out there. This was partially conquered because I had to find a copy of the other two questions' samples. In order to accomplish the goal, I had to walk up to someone new, strike up small talk conversation, then ASK them for a favor. I don't even ask my closest friends for favors, let alone perfect strangers. It was probably harder than giving birth (truthfully, though birth wasn't hard as I had two c-sections). I still have not released myself from my youthful inhibitions, so I continue to struggle with personal relationships. Because I am shy, people assume I am bitchy or snotty. because I am afraid to be needy, people assume I don't need help. Because I don't cry in public, people assume I don't have feelings. Because I can accomplish so much, people assume I will accomplish their jobs as well.
A haiku as a result
Marriage is the root
Of new personalities,
And products of old.
1. My marriage is healthier than the average marriage. While my hubby and I have the occasional argument, we agree on the most important things in life. Our goals for the marriage align, as do our subtle needs and enjoyments. We agree that marriage is not a sentence to spend every minute of every day of every year together. We each have our separate hobbies (his is killing things and mine is reading) and we have something we enjoy doing together (eating good food). We have some other similarities that are better left undisclosed.
2. There is still hope for the future. The amount of truly idealistic views on marriage I read were encouraging. I saw the following lines SEVERAL times of the 7 days of reading: A good marriage takes communication; A good marriage needs honesty and trust; A good marriage can not exist in the same place as hatred. The children of America who are growing up in a time of multiple marriages and remarriages still have hope. This should give the adults hope as well.
3. This is the most personal of my realizations; it is a realization of who I am. I have finally become comfortable spending time alone but only because meeting new people is utterly terrifying to me. I am so scared of rejection that I would rather not put myself out there. This was partially conquered because I had to find a copy of the other two questions' samples. In order to accomplish the goal, I had to walk up to someone new, strike up small talk conversation, then ASK them for a favor. I don't even ask my closest friends for favors, let alone perfect strangers. It was probably harder than giving birth (truthfully, though birth wasn't hard as I had two c-sections). I still have not released myself from my youthful inhibitions, so I continue to struggle with personal relationships. Because I am shy, people assume I am bitchy or snotty. because I am afraid to be needy, people assume I don't need help. Because I don't cry in public, people assume I don't have feelings. Because I can accomplish so much, people assume I will accomplish their jobs as well.
A haiku as a result
Marriage is the root
Of new personalities,
And products of old.
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