Quarterly Meltdown

Every few months I have a meltdown of sorts. It usually begins with a stressed feeling for a few days, then an overwhelmed feeling, then on day three I just lose it.  I cry for about an hour in my bath tub, then I'm better.  Since my dad died, I usually get one around December 1st then one around February 1st, as these are days near important events in his life: he loved the holidays and he died on Jan. 31.

This year, my December meltdown never really came to fruition, and my February meltdown has arrived late, with a vengeance   I woke up this morning and went for a brisk walk (with some jogging), then decided I just couldn't make it through a whole day of work.  I am taking the afternoon off.  Yet, I have a meeting at 4... ugh.  I have done too much.

Stressed.
Stressed is how a mother feels
when her children don't follow
instructions.
Stressed is how a daughter feels
when her parent doesn't call
anymore.
Stressed is how a teacher feels
when her students don't participate
fully.
Stressed is how I feel
when I don't realize
my limitations

Stress
mutates
into destruction
and I am

undone.