I Will Never Forget
I can't believe I have already missed two... wait, three days in my goal to write more for me. But I'm here now, and that's all that matters.
What did I do well?
Today, I was patient. I was patient with kids who just wanted to vent. Others accused me later of "telling them what they wanted to hear," but I was really just giving them the truth. The truth as I saw it. I was also patient with some others who made a bad choice at a horrible time that could have cost them everything. But it didn't. I just gave them a lecture, made them fix the error, then moved on. I was patient. On a less profound note, I didn't have a nervous breakdown when a spider the size of a silver dollar marched his happy butt into the hallway and sat down. I didn't collapse. Which is impressive. I just calmly asked one of the gentlemen near me to please kill it. He did. And now I owe him.
What could I do better?
I need to stick to my guns better. Sometimes I make decisions and then, out of my need to please those around me, I cave. It wasn't anything serious, and truthfully, I'm probably the only who knows I caved (except Jeremy because I told him). But I did. I caved. Because I am absolutely terrified of what people think of me. I could do better at that - when I make a decision, I should stick with it.
What do I want to do?
I want to make a difference. Yup this is still what I want to do. Sadly, I think this conflicts with my what I could do better. Hmmmm... Can I make a difference without sacrificing who I am? That's the question. I think I can - I will work towards that tomorrow.
Today, I think my musings will fuel a poem. Let's see how it goes:
A shy new
person sits in her room
working feverishly
in an attempt to adapt
to her new life
and surroundings.
A more confident version
of that same person
sits in a nearby room
chatting with new
friends, hoping
they don't see the real
her - they
might not like her.
Still more confident,
she sits in a full
room, laughing and joking,
letting some of her
out - they seem to
have accepted her.
Relaxed and joyous,
they sit,
teasing, celebrating, unaware
of the changes
coming soon.
She feels like a friend, not
an outsider.
She is broken
one day,
and three
come to offer solace.
She feels grateful,
relieved, and hopeful.
She will never forget.
Quietly,
they sit
in a room
watching, waiting, and
anticipating what comes
next.
Big changes, but they
will survive.
With simultaneous
excitement and sadness,
two spend the day
recording their surroundings
to say goodbye
to _________.
That's all I've got tonight.. mainly because I'm stuck on stanza five. I keep going back to that stanza. It strikes a chord for sure.
What did I do well?
Today, I was patient. I was patient with kids who just wanted to vent. Others accused me later of "telling them what they wanted to hear," but I was really just giving them the truth. The truth as I saw it. I was also patient with some others who made a bad choice at a horrible time that could have cost them everything. But it didn't. I just gave them a lecture, made them fix the error, then moved on. I was patient. On a less profound note, I didn't have a nervous breakdown when a spider the size of a silver dollar marched his happy butt into the hallway and sat down. I didn't collapse. Which is impressive. I just calmly asked one of the gentlemen near me to please kill it. He did. And now I owe him.
What could I do better?
I need to stick to my guns better. Sometimes I make decisions and then, out of my need to please those around me, I cave. It wasn't anything serious, and truthfully, I'm probably the only who knows I caved (except Jeremy because I told him). But I did. I caved. Because I am absolutely terrified of what people think of me. I could do better at that - when I make a decision, I should stick with it.
What do I want to do?
I want to make a difference. Yup this is still what I want to do. Sadly, I think this conflicts with my what I could do better. Hmmmm... Can I make a difference without sacrificing who I am? That's the question. I think I can - I will work towards that tomorrow.
Today, I think my musings will fuel a poem. Let's see how it goes:
A shy new
person sits in her room
working feverishly
in an attempt to adapt
to her new life
and surroundings.
A more confident version
of that same person
sits in a nearby room
chatting with new
friends, hoping
they don't see the real
her - they
might not like her.
Still more confident,
she sits in a full
room, laughing and joking,
letting some of her
out - they seem to
have accepted her.
Relaxed and joyous,
they sit,
teasing, celebrating, unaware
of the changes
coming soon.
She feels like a friend, not
an outsider.
She is broken
one day,
and three
come to offer solace.
She feels grateful,
relieved, and hopeful.
She will never forget.
Quietly,
they sit
in a room
watching, waiting, and
anticipating what comes
next.
Big changes, but they
will survive.
With simultaneous
excitement and sadness,
two spend the day
recording their surroundings
to say goodbye
to _________.
That's all I've got tonight.. mainly because I'm stuck on stanza five. I keep going back to that stanza. It strikes a chord for sure.
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