Desperation
Today was a pretty bizarre day, a day of really high ups and really low downs. My children (and a neighbor kid) and I set off to Galveston at 8:30 AM; after a few stops, we made it to Stewart Beach by 9:30. In our excitement, I managed to leave the door to our truck unlocked. At 12:45, when we got back in the truck, my daughter couldn't finder her shoes. She was convinced someone had gotten into the truck and taken her "Jesus shoes." I was annoyed - who would steal a pair of cheap plastic shoes?! Boy, was I the jerk. As I pulled out my wallet to prove my point, I realized that someone had, indeed, gotten into the truck and stolen my cash, ATM card, and her shoes. I was so frustrated. With myself. And with the person who had done this to us. (Just to be clear: it could've been WAY worse, they didn't take my DL or the SS cards or anything of true value). But then it occurred to me: the person who did this must be desperate. In some way. And then I began to think about how desperation can affect so many other things. That is the inspiration of this blog.
This person who took our things must have believed they had no other option. I mean why else would he/she have stolen a pair of shoes then got straight to Sonic and Wal-Mart (they were quick). I mean, it's not like they went to the Gap or H&M or something like that. This person must have felt there is no other recourse.
Every year, I have at least one student who plagiarizes their work. This is, in effect, theft as well. It wasn't until this year, that I realized they do it out of desperation. In the past, this desperation was invisible to me because the plagiarism had only occurred on long-term assignments. I mean, they had ALL semester to do the assignment. But then, this year a young man said to me: I just didn't know what to write, so I googled it. And he looked ashamed. I couldn't understand; then I realized that he truly didn't have the skills necessary (even thought I thought I had taught them) to write the paper in a timed situation. Another student said the same thing... I began to realize that these two young men were not that much different than the other students who had plagiarized in the past. It was just different versions of desperate.
As I have grown up, I have been desperate for acceptance. In those moments I have adopted belief systems, behaviors, even goals from other people in order to be someone "worthy" of their friendship/approval. Boy was that a mistake. I ended up not getting their approval and just feeling worse about myself. Instead of developing who I am inside, I stole who they were.
It's interesting to realize that in a huge way, everyone is the same. We all find ourselves in situations where we felt we had no other option but to steal. Oftentimes, we don't think of it as stealing because it's just a dirty word, but it is. In some form or fashion. So who am I to judge the person who was desperate for my money? I'm not. There is no reason to judge someone else's desperation. I have my own with which to deal.
In my future, I hope to never allow myself to be that desperate. And I hope to give my children the tools in life to never be in that situation. And I hope to give my students the tools they need to never be in that situation. It's a terrible place to be. And it makes us feel worse about ourselves than when we started.
This person who took our things must have believed they had no other option. I mean why else would he/she have stolen a pair of shoes then got straight to Sonic and Wal-Mart (they were quick). I mean, it's not like they went to the Gap or H&M or something like that. This person must have felt there is no other recourse.
Every year, I have at least one student who plagiarizes their work. This is, in effect, theft as well. It wasn't until this year, that I realized they do it out of desperation. In the past, this desperation was invisible to me because the plagiarism had only occurred on long-term assignments. I mean, they had ALL semester to do the assignment. But then, this year a young man said to me: I just didn't know what to write, so I googled it. And he looked ashamed. I couldn't understand; then I realized that he truly didn't have the skills necessary (even thought I thought I had taught them) to write the paper in a timed situation. Another student said the same thing... I began to realize that these two young men were not that much different than the other students who had plagiarized in the past. It was just different versions of desperate.
As I have grown up, I have been desperate for acceptance. In those moments I have adopted belief systems, behaviors, even goals from other people in order to be someone "worthy" of their friendship/approval. Boy was that a mistake. I ended up not getting their approval and just feeling worse about myself. Instead of developing who I am inside, I stole who they were.
It's interesting to realize that in a huge way, everyone is the same. We all find ourselves in situations where we felt we had no other option but to steal. Oftentimes, we don't think of it as stealing because it's just a dirty word, but it is. In some form or fashion. So who am I to judge the person who was desperate for my money? I'm not. There is no reason to judge someone else's desperation. I have my own with which to deal.
In my future, I hope to never allow myself to be that desperate. And I hope to give my children the tools in life to never be in that situation. And I hope to give my students the tools they need to never be in that situation. It's a terrible place to be. And it makes us feel worse about ourselves than when we started.
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