Cranky For No Good Reason

I have been cranky/mopey for a couple of days now. And this morning, I realized why: I'm tired of doing what is expected of me, of doing for others.  What helped me find my way to this truth is my daughter and her unwavering love and admiration for me.   

Last week, her dance teacher asked me to help her write a prompt.  So I did and quickly forgot about it until I received an email from the same teacher.  In it was Anna's assignment: a letter thanking me for supporting her.  In her list of things for which I offered support were the things I loved most to do.   And I smiled.  And I cried (happy tears).   

In that moment, I couldn't help but wonder WHY I spent so little time doing those things and spent so much time to do things for others' approval.   I had no answer.   And that's dumb!   

So from here on out, I will do what I want.  Because it makes me happy.   Because when I do that, I affect those that are the most important: my children, my husband, and myself.  To that end, I have listed those things as a method of accountability (this list is not exhaustive)

Cook/Bake: As an adolescent, I burnt toast.  As a young adult, I could make three or four decent tasting meals.   As I have grown up, I have read cook books and watched cooking shows to learn more.   Now, I enjoy it.   I love it most with my children. They get involved, and it's more fun.  This provides them with the skills needed to, not only survive, but also the skills to be healthy and enjoy their food. 

Exercise with my kids:  This is a new development.  We ride bikes.  I dance with Anna.  I walk with John (while he runs).   We are all better for this.  

Teach: I have always felt like a teacher in my heart and soul.  I love teaching my own children.  I love teaching my students.  I love teaching adults.   It makes me feel alive from the very core of my being.  

Make music: I have fallen away from this recently.  I have no reason.  But this is a release for me, and I need to do it more.  

Read/Write: I put these two together because they intertwine.  One does not exist without the other.  These have been more common than some of the others recently because I'm in the middle of a blog challenge with Piper, and Donna Pauley challenged anyone (so I accepted) to a reading challenge.