How much?
How much can one person take? Or one family take?
In the past twelve months, my family has been through the following: two deaths, one birth, one terminal diagnosis, one gall bladder removal, one diabetes diagnosis, a relative moving across the globe (literally), three ear infections, bronchialitis, varying degrees of broke and not broke, and several viruses of differing levels and types. To add to this, on Friday my son is getting tubes put in his ears and soon after that my daughter is going to have hers removed. All of this has been done while my husband and I have worked full time and kept up social and family obligations.
People who truly have faith quote 1 Corinthians 8:6 "yet for us there is one God, the Father, from whom are all things and for whom we exist, and one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom are all things and through whom we exist" (English Standard Version - feel free to look up King James, if you'd like). This is their mantra, or inspiration, to keep going. To keep their faith.
I just wonder what makes me capable of taking all this? I believe in God and Jesus, but am not TRULY faithful. But just about the time I feel like breaking, something happens that releases some pressure. Something goes right. It may be a little thing, like someone buys me lunch, or I get to sleep in on Saturday. Something always keeps me from losing it. Today, it was a break from my parents. They helped a lot and I got a break. A small one, but a break none the less. Then, the second death. *sigh*
Does this mean I hadn't had enough? I could still take more? How do I make it through these times with my sanity? Where do I put my faith? These are questions that I go to sleep thinking about....
Faith
is believing
in something bigger than me.
How
do humans
let go of control?
Without it,
there is nothing
more than what we see.
To release
our lives and thoughts
to an invisible puppeteer?
I can't
completely let go.
Is there
something wrong
with me?
In the past twelve months, my family has been through the following: two deaths, one birth, one terminal diagnosis, one gall bladder removal, one diabetes diagnosis, a relative moving across the globe (literally), three ear infections, bronchialitis, varying degrees of broke and not broke, and several viruses of differing levels and types. To add to this, on Friday my son is getting tubes put in his ears and soon after that my daughter is going to have hers removed. All of this has been done while my husband and I have worked full time and kept up social and family obligations.
People who truly have faith quote 1 Corinthians 8:6 "yet for us there is one God, the Father, from whom are all things and for whom we exist, and one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom are all things and through whom we exist" (English Standard Version - feel free to look up King James, if you'd like). This is their mantra, or inspiration, to keep going. To keep their faith.
I just wonder what makes me capable of taking all this? I believe in God and Jesus, but am not TRULY faithful. But just about the time I feel like breaking, something happens that releases some pressure. Something goes right. It may be a little thing, like someone buys me lunch, or I get to sleep in on Saturday. Something always keeps me from losing it. Today, it was a break from my parents. They helped a lot and I got a break. A small one, but a break none the less. Then, the second death. *sigh*
Does this mean I hadn't had enough? I could still take more? How do I make it through these times with my sanity? Where do I put my faith? These are questions that I go to sleep thinking about....
Faith
is believing
in something bigger than me.
How
do humans
let go of control?
Without it,
there is nothing
more than what we see.
To release
our lives and thoughts
to an invisible puppeteer?
I can't
completely let go.
Is there
something wrong
with me?
Comments
"I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail" Luke 22:32
You do what you can with what you got, and that's the best you can do. That's become my philosophy. Glad the folks cut you a break.
Thanks for sharing. I am similar in my battle with faith and what I am "supposed" to be doing in regards to that. After growing up atheist and marrying an ex catholic (now hes an atheist)- my relationship with religion is varied and thin. I have now realized that if any version of god exists (Buddha, Jesus, Allah) and I hope so- they are going to see that good is good. So in a karmic type of way I lead my life that way. I say "thank you" in my head when good things happen and "help, please" when I need it. This probably doesn't help at all but - two cents. Vicky